1:40 - Worth It?

This poem is the last of the series I began last week showing how planning for a flare up and the time immediately after it could minimise the impact that the flare up has on people who suffer from Chronic Pain.

The last four days have been particularly unpleasant, but they could have been far worse for me if I had not prepared for them. The process of planning for the flare up and discussing my plans with my support group, (whilst remaining flexible enough to allow the plan to change) has allowed me to come out of the flare up without getting depressed.

For most readers taking 120 hours to plan and recover from an event which in itself took three hours might not seem too much of a success, but the fact that on this occasion I was able to do something which I really wanted to do and was able to prevent myself falling into depression was a major achievement.

If anyone has been affected by my last few blogs, please re-read them and see the hope and satisfaction that was in them. You may then understand that the underlying message is, it is possible to come through a difficult patch if you have the time to plan how you intend dealing with it and you communicate that plan with your support team. The measure of success has to be; is three hours of pleasure worth one hundred and twenty hours of hard work? On this occasion, I believe it was.

Normality Returns

Sometime in the night he’d fallen asleep
It had been after half past four,
now he was awake.
There was movement in the house.
Checking his watch; it was seven.

He felt rested, two and a half hours
after four days and he felt rested.
As always the taste of vomit was there
but the searing pain, the burning pain
that devoured every scrap of reason had gone.

Four days of torture, with no reprieve.
Nights of constant questioning.
Hour on hour pushing back and holding firm.
The sand pitted and scuffed by the mighty battle
but the line remained uncrossed.

This was a battle well fought
Planned from inception.
One hundred and twenty hours
Set aside for just three
And all the while depression held at bay.

Now back to normality.
when sat or stood always timed.
Lawyers, doctors, medication,
plans for every little thing,
just to keep the demons at bay.

John Carré Buchanan
16 November 2011