Royalty

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The Subject for our next Open Mic is Royalty, and I have decided to pen a quick poem on the subject.

As an Retired Army Officer I am proud to be both British and a Royalist. Despite being laid up with a flare up over the last week I have enjoyed watching the coverage of the Diamond Jubilee.

Three things spoilt my enjoyment of the events which I watched on Television, these were; the appalling lack of knowledge and presumably research displayed by the BBC’s reporters who for the most part babbled on inanely and failed to deliver any truly interesting commentary. Secondly the vast Number of British People who insisted in flying the Union Flag upside down (Yes there is a right way up.) and Thirdly a number of stupid idiots who insisted on carrying placards protesting the fact that the Royals dodge tax and are a waste of their hard earned money. (I suspect many of these imbeciles have been sponging off the social for years anyway!)

It was with the third point that I thought I would write the following poem which is factual and demonstrates that without even including the influence that the Royals have on foreign trade, their input to the country in terms of tourism and tax on their land equate to an estimated £115 per UK citizen per year whilst the cost calculated on the same basis is about 65 pence a year.

I hope you enjoy the poem;

(for the less knowledgeable; the broad portion of the white cross of St Andrew should be above the red band of St Patrick, and the thin white portion below, in the upper hoist canton commonly called the corner at the top nearest to the flag-pole.)

Royalty

To a child it’s about
palaces and crowns,
diamonds and rubies
and rich ermine gowns.

Immaculate soldiers
stand for hours on end.
with rifles and bearskins
our Queen to defend.

As adults we join
One of two schools
Republican or Royalist
- and the others are fools.

I’ve met the royals
At home and abroad
I’ve watched them work
And I loudly applaud

Of whirlwind visits
their lives consist
meeting and greeting
through night and day shift

One day the commonwealth
The next they’re back home
Surrounded by policemen
Wherever they roam.

Republicans argue that
they’re a waste of hard cash
but glance at the numbers
and that becomes trash

Every day of their lives
they serve our great Nation
they secure foreign investment
and enhance job creation

Each year they’re taxed
Two Billion pounds
That’s five times what they cost us
an investment most sound.

American Tourists
who flock to see our Royals
add Seventy Billion
to our National spoils.

Our royalty secure billions
for our National coffers.
They add political stability
no republic can offer.

They stretch British influence
around the world so wide.
They provide a National focus
In which most take great pride.

So stuff those who say; ‘Humbug’
and whinge about monarchy
put voice to our Anthem
and pledge them your loyalty.

John Carré Buchanan
07 June 2012